Monday, January 3, 2011

Coffee & Company






This morning we had breakfast in bed,
and we laughed, and we talked about dreams.
We three are the silliest together.

Sunday, January 2, 2011


A few days ago, I felt sort of sad and tired...
So I painted these.

Dust Lane

I have loved Yann Tiersen since hearing the first few notes on the Amelie soundtrack.
So I'm rather excited that he has a new album out.
It's called 'Dust Lane'.
I will be impatiently waiting until I have enough money to buy this bad boy.


Here is the trailer:

Friday, December 31, 2010

the night before last, and the dream I had.

I had a dream the night before last.
It went something like this:

I was watching the children of who in my dream, was my aunt.
In real life, she is merely an old acquaintance of the family. She spoke of her youngest brother, and his wedding. It was to be the next day.
I had never heard anything of my uncle's engagement prior to the conversation with my aunt. And I was a little surprised. Who was the bride? I didn't know. My aunt didn't speak of her, but what she did do, was ask me if I was nervous.
What did she mean? I was confused.
My uncle (whom in real life is not my uncle. In real life, he doesn't exist at all.) was a man in his mid-thirties, he had dark skin, and dark eyes... But an unpleasant darkness that made me shiver. He didn't speak much. Maybe not at all, in my dream. I didn't like him right from the start.

My parents came over to my aunt's house looking for me, seeming rather nervous and unsettled about something, but I didn't ask.
I went with them, to my home in the town where I lived. But something seemed different. There was a queerness about the air. There was a queerness about my dream, as a whole.
At this house where I lived, I slept, and slept... And when I woke, everyone was rushing about. There was a great deal of excitement going on, and many looks aimed in my direction. Looks of a certain kind that you would never hope to have aimed towards you in real life.
Everyone was getting ready for my uncle's wedding. I too, was getting ready.
I put on a dress that I had found placed on my bed. It was a pale yellow, almost white.
I didn't like it. But I wore it, regardless.

The wedding was in a great big wooden building, with high ceilings and chandeliers that gave off an eerie light. There were no chairs, nowhere to sit. Everyone was standing in little clumps, waiting and watching. And it was then, when everybody turned to look at me enter the giant room, in my almost white dress, that I realized something was wrong.
They thought something of me, something that caused them to hate me with their eyes.
But just as I was assuming the worst, I looked to the back of the room, and saw the bride, in a beautiful gown of white. Not almost white.
White. Vivid white.
But she was going completely unnoticed. What kind of wedding was this?
The groom entered from a door on the side of the building.
He was drunk. People surrounded him, and there was whispering, and talking of a terrible sort.
And when he started running towards me, and I heard scolding whispers from the people surrounding me, I then realized, that what I had first assumed... Was right.

For some bizarre reason, everyone was under the impression, that I was the bride... About to marry my middle aged uncle, with angry, drunk eyes. And there he was, running towards me, with a fury about him that made me more scared than I already was.
He too, in all his drunkenness, thought that I was the bride, and was angry with me for a reason that I didn't know. With no clarification as to what was going on, and still wondering why all of this was happening to me... I ran. I ran faster than I knew I could, away from my uncle.
Away from all of the judgmental, confused people.
I ran to my older brother, who I saw standing in the small doorway at the back of the room, and with as few words as I could, asked him to help me escape.
He agreed, even though at the time he didn't believe that I was oblivious. He too thought the same strange thing as everyone else. And that made me sad.
But still, he helped me. And for that I was glad.

Even though he was intoxicated, my uncle was fast, and chased us all through the town.
Yelling unrecognizable words, making me feel a weird kind of pain.
He was getting closer to us, and I was beginning to think he would catch me.
But just then, my brother leaped. He leaped high, and kept going higher, and higher, and never came down. It seemed as though he was flying, and this made my uncle stop. He just stood there, looking dumbfounded.
He must have thought he was going mad. And indeed, he might have been.
But so was I...

Friday, December 10, 2010

Oh come, thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night
And deaths dark shadows put to flight.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel
Shall come to thee, O Israel.

Rejoice,
Rejoice,
Rejoice.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Flying the coop in a couple days.
Nervous?
Yes.
Excited?
Also yes.

Sometimes

Life is so strange...

My friend and I had a conversation last night until about 5:00 am, just trying to figure life out.
Talking and thinking about all these things that are so unclear that it almost seems pointless to talk about them at all.
Thinking about everything that makes up everything else.
About all the things that people learn, and the unexpected things that people need to go through in order to learn them
.
It blows my mind. Trying to figure out what is positive and what is negative, and trying to figure out what I should be angry, or sad about... And what I should think of as just a bump in the road that will bring something good in the end.
How much of what is in our life has been placed there by God for a purpose, and how much has just happened because of sin, and all the corruption that envelops so many things around us.

WHAT IS REAL? What has meaning. And WHY WHY WHY do things happen the way they do?
Why do things seem to come in horrible little clusters,
clumps of negativity that overwhelm you emotionally and physically...
That frustrate every bone in your very being, so that you feel like you can't possibly accomplish anything without SCREAMING and wondering hhhhoooowwwww in the world do I escape from this body of mine?
And how do you know things you can't feel? WHY are there some things that you know whole heartedly, and yet you have yet to experience them in a real and tangible way? And why do some people get to feel things, when no matter how hard some other people try, they just can't. feel. anything... It's exhausting.
GUH... Things suck sometimes.
But then there are little things that God blesses you with. Little ways to let go of everything, just for a minute or two.
And sometimes that's enough. A few minutes of pure wonder and beauty that momentarily erase everything else...
Yeah...
Yeah.

That's another thing we talked about.
Changing your mindset to a thankful one.
Thanking God for all the little blessings he gives rather then constantly questioning the things you wish weren't going on. It's hard though.
It's really really hard.
BUT, what really good thing comes from something easy?

JEVFJHVESJHVCEJHVEKUVWJAA!!

okay.
My photo
I'm an aspiring artist, children's craft maker, singer, songwriter, fashion enthusiast and follower of Jesus.
Follow Me on Pinterest